


The Fear

by kuro49



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-28 07:26:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/305322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuro49/pseuds/kuro49
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the fear and this is real.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fear

"Don't say the words because then you will make it real."

He says in the dark when they are both lying flat on their backs in a bed far away from everything they are comfortable with.

James' voice overlays with regret and this is just one of the many things he feels. His voice is hoarse and low, and he is trying his very best to make this work. (When it really shouldn't and he can never--only he has.)

Michael turns on his side, the shift is silent and subtle but it still feels like the splitting of the ground beneath their feet. He doesn't glance up at James, he merely closes his eyes in the dark and he really shouldn't sound as harsh as he does.

"It is real long before this."

They don't mention the stares across the room, the brief touches of shoulders when they brush by the other in the narrow hallways. They don't bring up the play on words, the _smiles_.

"I--" He pauses to find the right words and there is never a proper way of explaining infidelity. "I am in love with her."

Michael doesn't open his eyes.

Neither does he will this away.

Michael sucks in a breath, softly and starts.

"And I--" But he opens his eyes with a snap when James pushes him back on his back, fingers gripping at the muscles of his shoulders, pinning him back against the mattress with a sudden force that spirals out of desperation. Michael stares as he slowly swallows the intention behind his words. His eyes settle from the shock and he watches James kneel over him, body hovering as his eyes gleam a dark menacing blue blown wide with distress.

"I don't want to hear it."

His whispers harshly as he lowers himself until their chests are pressed right up against one another. There is heat and warmth and a comfort that only human contact can bring. But none of that feels right, not when they are wanting but loathing the situation all the same.

And then he is kissing him.

Fingertips presses into the flesh and blunt fingernails grip hard enough to mark bright pink crescent moons along the pale stretch of bare skin.

“I—” he doesn't know where he begins and where he should end “—love—” only they both want this just as much “—you—” but reality never changes for them “—so—” because they have convinced themselves of other wise and this, “— _so_ —” this isn't real “—much."

XXX Kuro


End file.
